


Flirting 101

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Category: Bunnicula (Cartoon), Bunnicula - James Howe, The Lion Guard (TV), The Lion King (1994)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Crossover, Gen, Randomness, do not take it seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 07:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6320941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bunnicula didn't even know flirting class was a real thing. Neither did Janja, or Kion, or Chester. Too bad, because they have a lot of lost time to make up for. They'll either fail, or get their teachers to quit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting 101

**Author's Note:**

> So, as the tag said, don't take this seriously. I was joking with a friend about how Bunnicula and Chester need flirting classes, and then I thought 'Janja and Kion could use 'em too...' so, they're getting those damn classes.

"What's your name?" Bunnicula asked to the kid who sat to his right. Said kid was wearing a torn leather jacket with ripped jeans and a black T-shirt with a skull on it. He gave Bunnicula a bored look.

"Janja. What's your name?"

"Bunnicula."

"That's a real name?" asked the kid behind him. Bunnicula turned with a smirk.

"More like I got the nickname a while back, and I eventually got called by it so much that I went and made it my legal name."

"Cool! My name's Kion," the redhead said with a friendly smile. Bunnicula looked at the last kid in their class, the only one he already knew.

"Chester, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Don't ask, okay? Mina made me. She made me, now hush and wait for the teacher."

"Who's Mina?" Kion whispered.

"His adoptive older sister. Though as I recall, she didn't really seem to care about your-"

"Welcome to Flirting 101! We are your teachers, Miss Queen and Ms. Freddy!"

The announcement made the four students turn and face the front. The one who'd spoken, who had long brown hair and square blue glasses, stared at the small turnout.

"Freddy, we have students this time!" she said, turning to the other teacher with a grin. Ms. Freddy nudged her with an elbow, not so discreetly.

"Of  _course_ we have students. We _always_ have students when we hold this class."

"Right, right!" Miss Queen quickly said. She adjusted her glasses with a grin.

"Okay, let's call roll! Ms. Freddy, I believe you have the-"

"I don't! I thought you had it!"

The two young ladies quickly went silent.

"Why don't you all just tell us your names?" Ms. Freddy said nervously. Bunnicula stood up, smiling but not showing his teeth. His gray-and-black striped hoodie hung loosely over his shoulders, and his white T-shirt didn't seem to be any better.

"Name's Bunnicula. I'm older than any of you would care to guess, and yet I still seem to need help with flirting."

He sat down quickly. Janja stood after with a cocky smirk.

"I'm Janja. I'm 17, but I got held back, so I'm only a sophomore," he said simply. He plopped down unceremoniously in his seat.

"Just a note, might not wanna say you got held back when trying to pick up a date," Ms. Freddy said with a smile. Janja mockingly saluted her.

"I'm Kion. I'm 15, I'm going to be 16 next month. I don't think I'm that bad at flirting, but my friend Bunga says I'm awful."

"You're going to listen to a kid named Bunga?" Miss Queen muttered.

"No, I've seen him. He's worse than awful," Janja said, smirking deviously at Kion. Kion just glared in reply, though it was lessened by his blush.

"My name's Chester. I'm 16, and my friends all think I'm bad at flirting but I'm not _trying_ to flirt, especially not with who they _think_ I'm flirting with!" Chester said, seeming angry.

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, honey," Miss Queen said.

"It's in Paris," Janja said with a raised eyebrow.

"No, it's not, you idiot!" Kion said, seeming astonished that Janja would think that. Janja paused for a moment.

"Tell your friend Ono that I want my money back for that tutoring."

Kion slammed his head on his desk, not bothering to reply that Ono had tutored him in  _Geometry_ , not  _Geography_.

Miss Queen awkwardly cleared her throat. Maybe she just shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Ms. Freddy quickly spoke up.

"Okay, class. We're going to ask you some questions, centered around common problems that could occur when you try to flirt with someone. We'll ask one to each one of you, just to see how you'd deal with the problems."

They all sat up straight in their chairs. Ms. Freddy called on Bunnicula for the first question.

"What would you do if the person you're flirting with thinks you're too immature?"

"Dress up as my own baby."

Miss Queen and Ms. Freddy just stared at him in shock, and Janja nearly fell over laughing.

"Yes! That! I'm doing that too!" he cried, tears falling from his eyes as he continued to laugh crazily.

"No! Not that! Why would you do that?!" Ms. Freddy asked, horrified. Bunnicula shrugged.

"If they think I'm too immature, I'll show them immature!"

Miss Queen cradled her head in her hands, and Ms. Freddy already looked like she was starting to regret this.

"Alright, Kion. Let's say you're having dinner with the person you like, and they're eating almost all the food. What do you do?"

"Kick them out of my house and never speak to them or give them food ever again," Kion immediately said. Miss Queen and Ms. Freddy facepalmed in unison.

"No! No! I just, no! Why?!" Miss Queen wailed.

"What are you supposed to do then?" Chester asked in confusion.

"I don't know, we're making these up! But you're definitely not supposed to do THAT!" Ms. Freddy said in exasperation. She looked at the clock on the wall.

"You know what? It's five pm. We're supposed to be done now. I don't care how late we got here, we're done now. Come back next week. Or don't," she said, rubbing her forehead. The students all shrugged and started to stand up and leave. Miss Queen sighed and just stared blankly at the floor.

"How many weeks until they all can leave?" she asked.

"Fifteen. If they _pass_."

"They're not gonna pass are they?"

"I'm gonna guess no."


End file.
